Boobs’ boobs

Going to the cinema on my own wasn’t too bad. I could sit where ever I wanted, and I didn’t have to make a compromise on the film I wanted to see. Plus, as I was a single loaner sad case, no one sat next to me, leaving a seat free for my coat and handbag.

I went and saw Tamara Drewe. It was alright but nothing to write home about (or blog about). In the film the main character has had a nose job, making her suddenly beautiful and helping her to reinvent herself. This got me thinking about Boobs’ boobs.

For a woman with two kids and a waist that would put Victoria Beckham to shame, her breasts just should not be that high or round or big, which leads me to believe that they aren’t original parts.

But why would she do it? Why would she get permanent falsies? I thought the giant boob craze was totally ten years ago, when Bay Watch was a big deal. But now adays the fashion is for a smaller cup, and all the stars have normal sized breasts: Keeley Hawes, Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst, Keira Knightley, and the entire cast of Friends. Or at least they look normal sized, but it’s not like I’m looking.

So why would someone permanently disfigure themselves for a trend that will be gone with the next fashion week.

Then I got to thinking about Boobs’ personality. She’s just not a nice person. Which I would guess indicates someone who is unhappy with their life, and is actually quite insecure. Maybe the implants are just her way of trying to gain confidence?

After spending most of Tamara Drewe thinking about work colleagues, and not paying attention to the screen, I started to feel sorry for Boobs. Yeah, she gives me hell and makes my life so miserable I regularly hide in the bathroom so that I can have a good cry, but making me feel this way is just kind of pathetic on her part…isn’t it?

An evening of pontificating on the sad life of my boss has made me feel guilty for nicknaming her ‘Boobs’. Perhaps I should have chosen another term? Something that draws attention to her job, her personality, or her mannerisms. I really shouldn’t be contributing to the male sexualisation of women. I shouldn’t be drawing attention to that one feature that is fake, that one feature that only men would notice. (Although, they are hard to ignore.)

But what should I do now? I can’t change her name from Boobs to Blondie. Or from Boobs to FEditor. Or from Boobs to InsecureBossWithPersonalIssues. It’d be too confusing. Half my blog would reference someone named Boobs, while the other half would reference a whole different name. No, I can’t change her name now, it’s too late.

So, instead Boobs is now an acronym for ‘Buying and Obtaining Original Books Supervisor’. (B.O.O.B.S.)


One response to “Boobs’ boobs

  1. Haha, I think “Boobs” is pretty genius. Don’t let the guilt get to you. From what I’ve read about Boobs, it seems to me that she would probably be flattered by the nickname you’ve given her…

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