Work was pretty much awash. I couldn’t concentrate, and I spent most of the day trying not to cry. Not like there were any tears left anyway. I also spent the day checking my email, Facebook and my mobile. I mean, it’s not like I want to talk to him. In fact, the thought of hearing his voice makes me physically shake. I don’t know what I’d say to him, and I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. But at the same time, I expected him to get in touch. I just thought he’d have enough respect for the two years we spent together to give me his side of the story. I hoped that he’d beg for my forgiveness so that I could put him in his place. Instead, the blank emails and Facebook wall, and the empty text messages just drive home the point that I meant nothing to him. Yes, I should be happy he hasn’t tried to get in touch, but since I’ve evidently had no control over our relationship, I wish I had some control over our break up. But I guess he’s calling the shots on that too.
PS-I just want to say thanks to all my friends who rang me yesterday. And when I woke up this morning, Fringe and Marathon had left a giant bar of Galaxy by my door with a note that said ‘Hope you’re feeling better today.’ I hadn’t told them anything, but it wouldn’t be hard to not hear me balling my eyes out all night through the thin flat walls.