Goatee and I met some of his friends for dinner last night. We were a group of six, three couples. (Goatee and I, a husband and a wife, and two gay men who were partners.) I was in no way apprehensive before heading out; after all I’d already met some of his friends at that photo exhibition in Stirling. In fact, I’d already met the woman at the dinner party.
It was one of the bloke’s birthday; I believe he was turning 43. But I’m not sure. It was nice and all really civilised. The topic of the recent protests in London came up, and they asked my opinion as ‘a recent graduate’, and it was nice being a part of that conversation. But overall, I really felt out of place.
One of the men was kind of sarky towards me. The group had a friend who’d changed jobs three times in four years – not because he’d been made redundant but because he kept finding a better position. (The guy was in aerospace technology, like literally a rocket scientist.) The conversation was about whether this friend was doing the right thing – job hopping during a recession. I tried to join the conversation and said ‘I’ve been looking for part time work lately, and there’s nothing out there. If I were him, I’d just be happy to have a job.’ Well, this one guy at the table rolls his eyes and says ‘Sweetie. Being a Saturday girl is a bit different than trying to advance your career. Our friend is in really high demand.’
I couldn’t believe he made this nasty remark after they’d just included me in a conversation about graduates trying to find work. I’m as entitled to an opinion as the rest of them. In fact, I’m probably a bit more realistic about trying to advance my career than they are. I don’t see any of them working full time for free just to get some experience and improve skills sets.
I was also quite miffed because Goatee didn’t defend me. He just laughed a little and changed the subject.
We went back to Goatee’s that night, and I was pretty stupid because I did that whole passive aggressive thing. I wouldn’t tell Goatee why I was annoyed, I just wanted him to notice that I was annoyed. He never did notice.
That morning he suggested that for future ‘sleep overs’, he’d clear a drawer for me in the bedroom: to keep a toothbrush, underwear, a change of clothes, etc. I’ll be honest; this kind of freaked me out. This is all happening way too quickly, so I said as much.
He was quiet for a second, then he held my hands and said ‘When I’m sure of something I go for it. I see no point in playing games if I’m serious about someone.’
He then said, ‘If you’re not serious about me, then maybe we shouldn’t be together.’
I told him that I want to be with him, and that I really did like being in the relationship. I mean, he’s right. Why play about with games. After TheBoy, I should be grateful that I’m in a relationship with a man who’s upfront and honest. In fact, I think that’s my real problem. I’m not really worried about the relationship with Goatee going too fast, I’m actually worried he’s going to be like TheBoy.
Well, he’s not like TheBoy. In fact, Goatee is nothing like any of my previous relationships. I really do have a good thing going.
I asked him to wait for a second when he dropped me off at my flat. I went inside and packed a little bag with spare toiletries, tampons, underwear and a pair of flats. I gave it to Goatee and asked him to put it in the spare drawer at his house. That I’d be happy to keep a few things over at his.
Hmmm. A real proper adult relationship with no games and no lies. This feels good.