We had to have them at Prestwick by noon. B and D were flying back to London together, then B would catch another flight to Italy. Goatee drove, and I was hoping that their flights would be cancelled because of the snow. I very much wanted them to stay longer. But I was in no such luck. I didn’t want them to leave. I didn’t want to stay. I wanted to go back to London with D. I wanted to go to Italy with B.
The plan was for me to wait with them until they were able to check in, but I was all snot and tears in the car; we all thought it was best that I didn’t go inside the terminal – I was hyperventilating by this point. D and B promised to call if there were any problems.
I stood in the ‘drop off point’ with tears rolling down my face. Of course, as I said, I didn’t want them to leave, but it was more than that. This was the first time that I truly realised our lives were all going in different directions. B may end up living in Italy, and D and I are slowly getting new sets of friends. S, M and R are all off on their respective paths. Watching them walk into the departure terminal was like watching my youth walk away. I turned and saw Goatee, mature, strong and the constant adult, and I broke down. I wasn’t ready for this.
He wanted to bring me back to his, but I just wanted to go home. We stopped by his so I could get my things, and while I was there D texted to say their plane was about to take off. I texted back my ‘Good bye’.
Goatee took me home, and I went into my room by myself. Fringe tapped on the door to ask if I was okay, and I just told her ‘I’m a little sad because my friends are gone. But I’ll be okay.’ She gave me a hug, and asked if I wanted a cuppa. I politely turned her down; I just wanted to be alone.
After laying there for few hours, listening to Radio One online, B texted to say that she was on her flight from London to Italy. I started to cry, but I didn’t text B. Instead, I texted TheBoy. He’d been such a huge part of my life; he knew all my old stories and was even there when R broke his ankle. I texted TheBoy this message: ‘Not ready for things to end. Need to talk.’
He rang immediately. I told him all about my weekend, but I left out Goatee. It was as if I was erasing Goatee from my memory. TheBoy and I made our Christmas plans. I’d be down on the 23rd, but he was going home to Brighton for Christmas. He said he’d leave on the morning of the 25th, that way he’d be at his parent’s house for lunch, and we could spend all of the 24th together and hopefully that evening as well. He said the friend he was staying with would be away for the holidays, so we’d have the flat to ourselves.
I can’t tell you how excited I am. I know it’s stupid to let him back in my life, but I don’t know. It just feels so right.