As I am not a person that goes in for passive aggressive behaviour, last night I decided to confront Goatee on his moodiness.
We’d sorted our own dinners (I said, ‘I’m cooking, do you want me to fix you something?’ and he replied with ‘I’ve eaten’. I thought, ‘Thanks for offering you whingy little pain in the arse.’), and it was getting late. I was waiting for him to come up to bed, and by 2am, I was sick of waiting, so I marched down stairs. He was asleep on the sofa, so I nudged him a little to wake him up, and I asked, ‘What’s been your problem?’
He bitched, ‘What problem? I’m sleeping?’
A fight was brewing; I could feel it and I knew he could feel it. So, I stepped back, took a couple of breaths, and calmed down. This time I said, ‘Something’s a matter. Please tell me what’s wrong?’
He finally sat up, and I sat next to him on the sofa. Here is a copy of our conversation the best I can remember it:
Goatee: Nothing’s wrong.
Me: I’m not an idiot. You’ve been acting weird ever since I came back from London.
Goatee: It’s nothing.
Me: It must be something. You haven’t touched me since Vienna.
Goatee: I’m just feeling on edge a bit.
Me: About us?
Goatee says nothing.
Me: I know this relationship has gone really fast but…
Goatee: So you do feel pressured.
Me: A little but…
Goatee: I’m not going to be with someone who feels pressured to stay.
Me: If you’d let me finish a sentence. I feel like this relationship has happened really fast, and that did make me nervous. But I’m very happy in it. And I want to be with you.
Goatee: What about trust?
Me: Of course I trust you. Why wouldn’t I?
Goatee says nothing.
Me: You’re not my ex. I know you’re not going to cheat on me like he did. You’re such a better person.
Goatee: (Long pause.) I don’t want to be kept in the dark. I want you to be upfront with me. If you’re not happy, I want you to tell me. I won’t stand for you keeping secrets from me.
Me: I’m happy. I’m honest with you. I have nothing to hide. I don’t know where this is coming from.
Goatee then reached over and pulled me towards him. I was snuggled up in his arms, and he said, ‘I just shouldn’t listen to people. Sometimes I just get a bit carried away.’
That phrase rolled over in my mind: ‘I just shouldn’t listen to people.’ When Intern2 and I went out for a coffee earlier in the week he said he was sorry for ‘not being so helpful.’ He seemed to have a guilty conscious. I thought he felt bad about being a right dick when I first started. But now I’m thinking, perhaps, he was smack talking to Goatee. Maybe he wanted me out of the office so badly, that he started rumours about me.
I’m going to ask HarryPotter and find out what’s going on.
Last night, Goatee and I finally had sex again. On the sofa.
Just now, we’re the last ones in the office, and I’m waiting for him to finish at his desk. He’s taking me out for a night on the town. It’s nice to know that he and I are in a relationship where we can work things out, and it’s nice to have things back to normal.