Playing Detective

Stuff that occurred today:

1. Rumours have been confirmed. Someone’s stealing from the company. The credit card we thought was stolen by TheMentalist was indeed knicked, but it was an inside job. Around midnight, before the morning of the break-in, someone went and did a very, very big shop at the all-night Tescos using the MNM card. Therefore, the card had to go walkabout before the break-in.

2. Intern2 had a notion it was Goatee skimming off the top, but his theory has been turned on its head. I got a message back from GoateeSon. It reads:

Hey. Good to hear from you. Things are crazy around here. [GoateeSonWife] started a new job. She loves it but childcare’s been a nightmare. Re Dad. I wouldn’t worry about giving him back the pendant. He got into the London housing market years ago and sold everything at the height of the bubble. Plus he stands to inherit the family estate. He’s not hurting for cash. Even if he were, he gave you that necklace as a present. It’s yours to keep. You owe him nothing. Good luck with the end of the placement. I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon.

            This means two things:

a. Goatee’s not stealing from the company. Why would he, if he’s loaded? Granted the posh aren’t beyond a little swindling, the expenses scandal has proven that. But I still can’t imagine he’s been thieving. But who is fraudulent? Surely not Boobs. She’s little Miss Stick-to-the-Rules. And as much as I hate HarryPotter, if he were skimming off the top, he wouldn’t be so skint all the time. So, surprise, surprise, it’s NFEditor. Or is it? I guess anyone could be taking from the company, but, in hindsight, NFEditor seems bloody obvious. And if this is the case, I am SO HAPPY. Ha ha. I cannot wait until home office busts her. She is in sooooo much trouble. Finally, she’ll get what she deserves. He he.

b. The second implication of GoateeSon’s Facebook message – Goatee is landed. What the fuck! I knew he was Mr Poshy, but I had no idea he was blue. He doesn’t have a Scottish accent, and his family have a chateau in France, but I thought those landed types were… Well, I don’t know what I thought they’d be like. I thought they’d wear frayed tweed, carry a shot gun for the occasional pheasant, and go by nicknames like Biggles. I never, never, never saw Goatee as a Horray Henry. I am gobsmacked. Although, the freaky exhibitionist sex makes sense. That’s totally boys’ school behaviour.

3. I told Intern2, that Goatee isn’t hard up for money, giving him less of a motive for stealing, and I asked him why he thought it was Goatee. Intern2 said that Goatee is right shit at his job. He skives off all the time; he always claims to be out with various retailers and agents, when actually he’s scheduled a long lunch with a friend. Intern2 said that he does most of the work Goatee should be doing. Therefore, Intern2 made the assumption that, if anyone was stealing, it’d be the lazy bastard. ‘Fair enough’ I said. Intern2 said he was going to have a little bit of a dig around and see what he can find.

This whole ‘who’s stealing from the company’ malarkey is kind of fun. I’m not taking it all too seriously. Rumours spread, and even if it’s true, it doesn’t really affect me — I’m out of here in a few weeks anyway. But, playing detective is keeping my mind off HarryPotter, so I guess that’s not a bad thing.

4. MyAuthor rang me personally today. She had some really interesting news. Another publisher has been courting MyAuthor, so her agent talked to Boobs, and it came out that MNM WAS going to drop MyAuthor. Thankfully a little bird warned MyAuthor that this may be happening, so her agent pre-empted all this, wriggled out of the MNM contract for the up coming book (without having to return the advance), and signed a deal with a bigger publisher. I’m not sure how the agent managed it, but what a bloody good agent!

5. I have successfully managed to avoid HarryPotter for two days. I haven’t even run into him on the way to the toilet. Granted I have to get up before him, come to work an hour early, leave an hour late so I don’t cross him in the flat, and then as soon as I’m home hide in my room. Unfortunately, I don’t want to cross him in the kitchen so, my dinner is a half pack of stale digestives. But so far, it’s worked; well, except for the digestives.

…16 days to go.


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