SuzIntern left a very good comment on Sunday suggesting that I talk to Goatee. At that time, I didn’t want to because, while I felt sorry for Goatee, I was still angry at him. Just because he thought I was cheating, didn’t give him the right to cheat. I’d talk to him about it at some point, but earlier this week I wasn’t ready.
When Goatee walked by my desk today he tapped on it like he used to. I realised that now was the time to sort things out. Before he went on back to his office, I asked if he’d come with me to lunch. He agreed.
We didn’t have a Wednesday morning meeting today because MrAccountantHead was still nosing about, so I had nothing to do but stay at my desk and attempt to work. I couldn’t focus. This was going to be the first time I’ve spoken to Goatee, or even been alone with him, since we broke up. I mean, I’m not including work related things. I was counting the minutes until lunch. I didn’t know if I could face him.
Finally, the clock struck one, and he met me at my desk. We walked to the café in silence, not even a little chit chat. I don’t think either of us really knew what to say.
I got a sandwich and a coffee, he just got a coffee; we sat a secluded table. I’d never been to the café with Goatee before. This was the place HarryPotter and I always went; it was kind of our place. In fact, the table Goatee and I sat at HarryPotter and I’s favourite table. It’s in the corner, half secluded but still by the window. So it was strange being there with Goatee. I kind of felt like I was cheating on HarryPotter. Oh the irony.
Finally the silence was broken. Goatee asked about my plans, post-placement. I said that I wasn’t sure yet. I was toying with the idea of staying with my Dad in Newcastle. Goatee smiled and said that sounded nice. He was playing with the handle of his coffee mug and looking down at the table when he smiled. He was acting somewhat shy, something that was rare for Goatee. I found this slightly endearing, and it made me laugh a little.
He looked up and said, ‘This is strange. I don’t want it to be strange,’ and he looked me straight in the eyes with this lovely cheeky grin. I laughed, and knew it was time for me to broach the topic, so I jumped right in. ‘I just want you to know. I wasn’t sleeping with [HarryPotter]. I’m still not. He and I were just friends.’
Goatee said, ‘I know. [HarryPotter] showed up at my house last Sunday. He told me everything.’
I was in shock; obviously, I had no idea that HarryPotter went around to his. I asked what HarryPotter said. Goatee looked very nervous; he said HarryPotter admitted to lying. Goatee added, ‘He insisted that you had no idea what was going on.’
Wow. I can’t believe HarryPotter went to Goatee and confessed. How weird that must have been? HarryPotter turning up on Goatee’s doorstep. Goatee opening the door not knowing what to expect. How did HarryPotter even broach the topic? I can’t imagine how that went down.
And, the really crazy part, HarryPotter didn’t tell me he confessed. He totally could have used that to get into my good books, but he didn’t. He kept the talk with Goatee to himself. What’s that all about?
So, what was I supposed to say to Goatee now? He already knew? I just said, ‘Well, I wanted you to know that I’m not the type of person to do that. I’d never cheat. I’d never go behind someone’s back like that.’
I could see his grip tighten around his coffee cup and the smile slip away. He was quiet for a moment, then said in a very low voice, ‘Then I assume I AM that type of person. Obviously, what I saw to be a mature open relationship was, in your opinion, “going behind someone’s back”. You’re too good to cheat, great to know that. Thanks.’
I didn’t know how to respond. That obviously wasn’t what I was saying. I stammered, ‘No. No. That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t want you to think that I…’
‘That’s the point.’ He cut me off. ‘It’s always about you. You’re too good for that. Well. We’re not in a relationship any longer. So it has nothing to do with me.’ With that he left the café.
I didn’t bother eating my sandwich, and I walked back to the office in a daze. As I came back to my desk, MrAccountantHead was leaving to go back to London.
I was hoping he’d have sacked NFEditor before he left, but she’s still in the office. I guess there are official procedures. I’m sure he’s figured out she’s the one steeling. I don’t know. Goatee is a pretty big fucking dickhead. Maybe, he is scamming from the company. God I don’t know. I hope they sack both of them.
…15 Days to go.
PS-I just realised that I should have called this post ‘No one puts baby in a corner’. Damn. Sometimes I’m only funny in hindsight.