Getting My Friend Back

A representation of HarryPotter and me.

After HarryPotter’s Friday night strop, in which he inadvertently reached into my soul and exposed it to me like a hairdresser holding up a mirror (okay, bad simile, but I’m feeling creative), I had an ecumenical moment. I went back through all my old blog posts to kind of recap the year. Keeping a daily online journal is an excellent way to store your memories. So many things I’d forgotten about, like HarryPotter and I getting in a snowball fight with those kids. Other things seem like they happened decades ago: like Marathon’s hospital visit.

There are 224 posts (including this one), and as it would take too long to read them all, I just dipped in and out. This self-confessional put me in a really odd mood this morning. HarryPotter and I had been through a lot, and I didn’t want to throw it away. I think it’s too late for a relationship, and if I’m looking to be in something serious, then Goatee is probably the way to go. (Although, there are questions regarding the sentiment behind his anal fetish. And the more I read everyone’s comments about Goatee, the more I’m thinking that I should give Goatee a miss. He’s sounding weirder and weirder by the minute.) But I don’t just want HarryPotter as a friend, I want him back as my best friend.

Actually, this is a more realistic representation of HarryPotter and me.

So I was on a mission this morning. I was going to get my friend back.

Unfortunately, it didn’t come across like this. Instead, I was just acting weird. When I came out of my room in the morning, he was on the sofa eating sugar puffs watching kids telly. I flopped down next to him, and asked him what he got up to last night. He just said we went around to his parents for a while. Nothing big. There was a bit of a silence, so I decided to fill said silence by rambling on about kids shows I used to watch when I was little. I was going for a ‘gee, aren’t we comfortable with each other again, let me tell you more about my life’ sort of thing, but I came across as ‘girl who won’t shut up’.

He quickly tired of my yammering, got up to put his cereal bowl in the kitchen, and I followed him. I continued to babble on about washing up, and other random helpfulness like, ‘I’d be happy to do the washing up from now on, even if I don’t cook, and I’d be happy to clean the house, in fact, leave the cleaning and laundry up to me, because it’s the least I can do since you’re letting me live here, and I’ll also start…’ Blah, blah, blah.

He cut me off, ‘What’s wrong with you?’

I sighed and said, ‘I just want my friend back. I’m sorry. I’m sorry we fought. You shouldn’t have lied, but I know you didn’t do it to be malicious. I just want us to be friends.’

He said he was glad to hear it, but the best way to ‘gain friends and influence people wasn’t by being the most annoying person on the face of the earth.’ Then he added, ‘Although, you’ve always been kind of annoying. So, I guess this is just normal for you.’

That was it. We’re back on the mends. Now, something good and buddy-ish for us to do today? Walk through the park? Trip to the pub? I don’t know. Sky’s the limit.

…12 days to go.

PS-Did you know that in the new Scooby-Doo series, Shaggy and Velma hook-up? It’s kind of weird and creepy if you ask me. And what’s creepier, the number of people out there drawing Fred and Daphne cartoon porn. Just do a Google image search for Fred and Daphne, and see all the weird stuff that comes up.


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