Red Roses and Crazy Bitches

This morning we forgot that we left the car at work, so HarryPotter and I had to slog our way in on the underground, therefore we were slightly late coming in. I walked through the door to find two dozen red roses sitting on my desk. I rushed over to read the card, thinking, ‘Oh HarryPotter, that little minx. After last night’s dinner, he’s sent roses.’

I was quite surprised to find that the card actually read:
Congratulations on your job interview. You are such a star, and I know you’ll do well. Good luck. xxx [Goatee]

I could see the hate in HarryPotter’s eyes; I think he wanted to rip the heads off each and every rose. Just as Goatee came around to my desk, HarryPotter stormed off, bumping against Goatee’s shoulder as he walked past. Goatee kept his composure and said, ‘Watch your step old boy. No need to get into a rush.’

Then he says to me, ‘I’ve got all the time in the world.’

I thanked him for the flowers and he said, ‘Just a little token of luck.’

It was time for the Wednesday Morning Meeting, so we all assembled in the conference room, with HarryPotter across from Goatee, HarryPotter sneering and Goatee smirking.

The main topic on the agenda is the Aye Write Festival here in Glasgow. It starts this Friday and runs for the week. We’ve got a few authors at the Festival, and we need to show a presence, so Goatee is supposed to pop around throughout the Festival. Unfortunately, Intern2 is right and Goatee is a lazy bastard, because he’s trying his best to wrangle from going to the Festival over the weekend and in the evenings. Plus, he especially should be there on the last Friday and Saturday of the Festival, but he claims to have other appointments. I call bollocks on that.

Boobs asked if anyone else was willing to go, as she strongly eyed Intern2. Intern2, who was flopped back in his chair, simply said, ‘I can’t do it. I have plans for the weekends and in the evening, and I certainly can’t go the last Friday and Saturday, because my last day here is the 10th.’

I say good for him; MNM has totally worked him to the bone, and he doesn’t even need this placement as he has a job lined up. Although, I thought it might be kind of fun. It would get me out of the office for the last week of my placement, and I don’t have any plans for the weekend or my evenings. Plus, I’ve been here six months – working for a publishing company no less – and I haven’t gone to any literary events in the area. So, I offered to go, and added that I certainly didn’t mind going the last weekend of the Festival – even though my placement ends the Thursday before. I could even pop back around on the Monday after and let everyone know how it went.

My suggestion was completely brushed aside by Boobs, ‘There will be no need for that.’ Then she used her overly shadowed eyes to give Goatee the ‘mum stare’ until he said, ‘I’ll do it. I’ll be there.’ God, he is a lazy sod.

By lunch I’d gotten the text from D about TheBoy, and MyAuthor got back in touch and said she’d be more than happy to give me a reference. Yeah! So, good day for emails.

But not such a good day for faxes. Later in the day, Intern2 slipped something on my desk. When we fax papers, the first page is printed back out with a time stamp on it as a sent receipt. (Remember, NFEditor is stuck in the 1980s and faxes instead of emails.) It’s such a waste of paper, so Intern2 started using the old time-receipts as note paper. He Today when he was about to scribble something on the back of an old fax, when he noticed what was on the other side. A letter from NFEditor to the HR Director at that Publishing company. Remember the strange email about not getting the job I didn’t really apply for.

NFEditor had gotten an email from the HR Director, printed it out, hand wrote a response, and then faxed it back to the HR Director. Outside of what the note said, I’m still gobsmacked that this woman WILL NOT use email. She’s a moron.

Anyway, the page looked like this:

FAX TIME STAMP:
25 February 2011 10:45 Sent [MNM FAX NUMBER] 10:48 Received [PUBLISHER FAX NUMBER]

MESSAGE FROM HR DIRECTOR:
Dear, [NFEditor]
We are currently hiring for a junior editor, and [Name of Editor] has put forward [My Name]’s CV and covering letter. We understand that [My Name] is currently completing a placement at [MNM]. Could you please reply to this email with an informal reference?
Thank you for your time,
[HR Director]
[HR Director contact info including fax number.]

NFEDITOR’S HANDWRITTEN RESPONSE:
I am afraid that [My Name] is one of the worst interns we have had. She is unreliable and incapable of completing even the smallest tasks. When [MNM] takes on an intern, we realise that we have a duty of care to provide this person with the knowledge and skills needed to work in the publishing industry. We have done our best to train [My Name], but I am afraid that she has not risen to the challenge. I would not recommend her for a position with your company, as I feel that she would be better suited working outside of publishing.
Yours truly,
[Signature of Most Evil Bitch in the Land]

First off, isn’t this illegal. Could this publishing company legally contact NFEditor for a reference without letting me know? Don’t I have to give them the name of my references? God, sometimes I hate publishing. Everyone knows everyone, and because it’s all behind closed doors, legalities are skipped over.

Second, I hate NFEditor with a burning passion. There was no reason for her to not at least be nice. She may not like me, but she knows I’ve done a good job. That’s it. If, by my last day in the office, she’s not canned for stealing, I’m dobbing her in. That’s it.

And, I’m fucking saving this document. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it. But I’m saving it.

Thank god I have this interview with the agent coming up. I really hope that goes well. Even if I don’t get the job, I really want to make a good impression. All I have to do is prepare for the interview.

Since I’ve been working with a publisher, I only have second hand knowledge of what an agent does. So, I’ve been scouring the agent blogs, and looking up info on contracts, royalties, and such. That way I’ll sound dead smart, even if I have no idea what I’m talking about.

…8 days to go before my last day.
…6 days to go before my interview. Yikes.

PS-I don’t care that I shouldn’t be posting at work. I’m so ready to mentally check out. In fact, screw the work I have to do for the rest of the day. I’m going to spend my afternoon preparing for this upcoming interview.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s