I regressed last night. I hate to admit it, but it happened. I had thought I matured. A bit of living away from home, a bit of travel, a serious job offer on the horizon, all experiences making me much more wise and self-aware. I thought I had learned from my silly past mistakes, I am now a grown-up who is impervious to over-emotional childish instincts.
I was woefully wrong.
M and I went out last night with a couple of his mates, and as I don’t have to work today, I got totally blot-toed. I currently have a raging headache, but even worse is that I have physical proof of my immature idiocy. I drunk emailed last night.
After stumbling into the house I wanted to talk to Pete, but we only Skype and that’s something we have to set-up in advance since he doesn’t have readily available internet. So, here’s what I emailed him:
Hello my lovely darling Canadian hunky monster. I miss you so much and I can’t believe we aren’t in the same country any more and soon enough we wont even be on the same continent. I am truly troubled by this because how is our relationship to continue with an ocean between us. I miss you so much and I wish I was still travelling with you. FML Set up a Skype for me today I so want to talk to you.
I completely forgot about this email until I woke up and found this email:
I can be on Skype by 10am your time. I miss you too.
Being as I slept until one o’clock, I missed the Skype meeting, which is absolutely fine because I really didn’t even know Pete and I were in a relationship. I really thought it was in the ‘it’s complicated’ category. And am I ‘troubled’? Not really. Yeah, I miss him, like in a ‘he gets me’ sort of a way. And I love our Skype chats, and he’s really great. But holy shit, that ridiculous needy gibberish email has just opened a can of worms I really do not want to deal with. I’ve got enough on my plate with trying to decide about moving to Dundee. I don’t have the energy to worry about a long distance relationship. Or, so I thought. I guess it would be different if he lived in Britain, but he doesn’t. So, why would I go send an email like that?
And now I’ve got to email him to appologise for missing the Skype call, and explain away my ludicrously drunk behaviour. Shit, I am the biggest, most immature idiot when I drink. When will I learn?