Why am I blogging again? Because I don’t want to go home. I’m here in the work/home/office/conservatory, and I can hear Philip clinking pans and getting dinner ready in the back side of the house. It’s time to leave work, but I cannot bear going home.
So, I’ll blog about work instead.
I was supposed to have a Conspiracy event tomorrow, but it’s been (thankfully) cancelled. It was a book group, and I’m a bit worried that they cancelled it because they hated his book. They just claimed that a bunch of people in the group are sick, but actually they want to talk about Conspiracy’s without him there. In fact, if I had a car, I’d drive over and check to see if the group was still on. But I don’t have a car, and I’m not going all the way to the back end of nowhere just for this.
However, I do have a proper event to go to the weekend of 20-22 April. It’s away, and it’s a festival, and I get to stay in a hotel, and I get to act all important, and I’ll represent the Agency. If you can’t tell, I’m quite excited.
The last time I went to a Festival for work, I was with MNM and I ballsed it up. But this time, I’m going to be super agent. Oh, and I’ve talked them into letting Conspiracy do a reading. 9:30 on the Saturday morning. No one will be there, but here’s hoping all the same. (Loraine thinks I should stop pushing his book and focus on something else, but for some reason I want Conspiracy to succeed. Maybe just to spite himself. But because Loraine is not in favour of me spending too much time on Conspiracy, I’ve got to do a lot of stuff off my own back.)
Speaking of Conspiracy, Saint rang me today and Conspiracy is definitely going forward with publishing his blog. She said he spent all weekend editing. The draft has been emailed over, but I haven’t had a chance to look at it yet.
I spent a bit of the afternoon writing up a new press release for his first book, mentioning that Conspiracy will be at the 21 April event. I sent the release, and electronic copies of his first book, to various bloggers and websites that do book reviews. Even if they don’t review his first book, I’m trying to build up an online relationship with these reviewers, so that when the blog-book comes out they’ll review that.
Oh, after lunch I had an interesting chat with LadyBohemia. It’s been cold and rainy all day, so I didn’t expect to see her. In fact, I only ever see her when it’s nice out and she’s in the garden painting. But not long after I got back from my cafe lunch, Loraine rang me. She had to run out and accidentally left her mum’s lunch on the counter. LadyBohemia’s hip was acting up today, so rather than make her come downstairs, Loraine asked if I’d bring up the sandwich and a cup of tea.
I got everything together and balanced it on a tray ready to bring it to the top of the house. However, as I crossed through the hallway to the stairs, I heard a cough in the lounge. LadyBohemia was down stairs after all, sitting by the window reading a book. I brought her lunch to her, and she asked me to sit and have a cup of tea.
I went and made myself one, and while I was in the kitchen I got a text from Fife asking if he could see me sooner than Wednesday. He wanted to see me tonight. I’m sticking with my ‘I’ll talk to Pete on Wednesday plan’, so I said he would have to wait until Wednesday. We’ve arranged to meet at the Byzantine for dinner.
I came back into the lounge with my cuppa and settled into a large green chair.
LadyBohemia took one look at me and said, ‘You have a new man in your life?’
I was taken back. ‘How did you know?’ I asked.
She said my smile gave me away. Was I smiling? I didn’t realise I was smiling, but I was smiling.
I stared to think. Did Pete ever make me smile the way Fife does? I think the last person to make me grin uncontrollably was HarryPotter. Oh god, and you see how horrible that worked out. But Fife is not a HarryPotter. Oh god. Am I HarryPotter? He was a two-timing pratt, and I hated him for it. Shit, am I the world’s biggest hypocrite? (Please don’t answer that.)
There sat LadyBohemia drinking her tea, and I wanted to confess. Get her opinion. Hopefully she’d tell me what I wanted to hear.
I’ve alluded to Pete, and he’s met me at the office a couple of times after work. But I don’t think I’ve ever said, ‘I’m living with my boyfriend Pete.’ Maybe I have, I can’t rememebr. Although, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned a boyfriend on occasion. I’m just not sure how much I’ve told LadyBohemia or Loraine about my love life. (And why should I talk to my boss about my love life? After MNM, I’ve learned to keep work and play separate.) But dear old LadyBohemia has sussed me out, so I may as well confide in her…sort of. I may have left out some details — as to not incriminate myself.
I told LadyBohemia that my boyfriend and I were on the splits. The relationship didn’t have that same old connection, and the whole thing felt like a chore. I then said I met someone pretty wonderful. Someone I could be in a long-term relationship with. Someone who, I think and I hope, feels the same way about me. I assume he feels the same way. Maybe he doesn’t. But you know, that doesn’t matter, because Pete and I should be over.
I continued to tell LadyBohemia the amended version of the story. The sans-sex version of the story. I told her that I felt bad breaking up with Pete, because he has no where to go. I wasn’t sure what to do.
LadyBohemia then told me a story about being in love with a boy who just started working in the mills. She was barely a teenager, but back then you married early. They started courting and everyone thought they would be together. But suddenly he married someone else and she was devastated. To get over him, she left Dundee for London, where she started hanging about a group of painters and artists and poets. This is where she met her husband, who also happened to be from Dundee. He also ran away from Scotland hoping to find his fortune in London.
It was a really lovely story, but I’m not quite sure how it pertains to my own. Was she saying that I should just break up with Pete because he’ll get over it eventually, and may find a better life in the long run? Or does she think that Fife will find someone else and leave me broken hearted? Or is she going a bit doo-lolly. I don’t know.
Well, I really should go home, and face the guitar music. God, if he has out that guitar when I get home I’ll scream.