I’m in an absolutely shitty mood today. Fife keeps texting me; I haven’t texted him back, but he won’t get the hint that I don’t want to talk to him right now. S has been texting all day as well nagging me about Pete’s birthday. I couldn’t go to the café for lunch, because I had to go into town and get Pete a birthday present even though I’m also pitching for his guitar case. (For his present, I got him a blank song book so he can write down all his stupid songs.) Oh and speaking of Pete, did you know he is turning 26? (Right, how would you know?) Anyway, I’ve always known how old he is, but it’s just now dawned on me that he was 25 when he graduated from Uni. Why did it take him so long to get a degree? Answer: because like everything else he does, he just dicked about and took ages.
Oh, and I’m annoyed at D and B. Last night after I posted, D rang me to talk to me about Fife. She thinks this whole ‘I live with my wife’ but ‘don’t worry it’s all platonic’ is a load of shite. I told her that I couldn’t talk because Pete was in the other room, but she wouldn’t let it go. So, I hung-up and rang B, who is the most supportive, chipper, gooshy romantic person I know, so I knew she’d be kind about the whole situation. But she even said, ‘Be careful. It doesn’t sound right to me.’
So all day, I obssessed over Fife and his wife. Yes, I know this is rich coming from me as I haven’t told Fife about Pete, or Pete about Fife, or anything. But I just keep getting this crappy shitty feeling that Fife is pulling the wool over my eyes. I know I have no reason to think this, but you have to admit, living with your ex-wife (who you’re not even divorced from) is a bit weird. Why can’t he just find a house in his village, or a nearby village? His books aren’t doing too badly, it’s not like he’s broke. I don’t know, maybe he’s worried that she’ll take all his money when they get divorced. Maybe this is a financial move? But that doesn’t answer why he’s still living with her. He could easily move out, leave near by, and the kids live with him half the time.
Anyway, I’m mad at D and B because of the text D sent me today: Ive also talked to [B] and were worried about you. You always fall into these destructive relationships with older men. You need to take a step back and check reality. As for Pete. You need to ditch him too. Hes not good for you.
Fuck right off! Yes, I know I need to get rid of Pete. That has nothing to do with Fife. And I am having a reality check about Fife. I just don’t know what that reality is. God I hate this.
Oh, and work was absolutely fucking shit as well. The reason Manchester hasn’t responded about Conspiracy’s blog/book is because he’s leaving the Agency and going to work with one of those giant agencies…our competition.
Loraine was absolutely raging. Not only because Manchester is leaving, but she said that these things don’t happen over night, and he’s probably been courted for a while by this other agency. She feels like it’s a total breach of trust. She spent the entire day storming around, slamming things down and generally being really angry. I don’t know if Manchester will take his clients with him, because I don’t know how that sort of thing works yet, and I was too afraid to ask questions today.
Oh, and this means that Conspiracy’s blog/book is off the table, because Loraine doesn’t want to do it and neither does anyone else at the Agency. So, without Manchester, that project is dead in the water. And I’m the one that’s got to tell Conspiracy after I nagged him to do it. Plus, this is going to be really awkward as I’ve scheduled him in for a reading at a Festival in a couple of weeks, despite the fact he doesn’t have a second book and can’t sell his first book.
To top it all off, I didn’t get any sleep last night because PoshPhD came around and they were all talking until stupid o’clock in the morning and they were so loud I could hear them the whole time and it kept me awake.
Here’s the boring fucking shit they talked about last night keeping me awake: PoshPhD’s thinks her tiny pants are short trousers. (They aren’t, she’s just delusional.) She didn’t spend the weekend with Pete and S, because she spent the weekend working on her chapter, which was slashed AGAIN by her supervisor, who has also pushed her progression back (again) until she makes another set of changes on the thesis.
I used to feel sorry for PoshPhD when it came to her thesis, but I don’t any more because I totally know she and Pete are fucking. And I’m not annoyed that they’re sleeping together, I just wish she’d take him off my hands. How do I know they’re shagging? I could tell by her flirty tone with him.
So, was any of that important enough to keep me awake until 3am? NO!
Right, I’m not getting any less angry, and even though everyone is away, I need to leave the office because I’m feeling super confined. I think I’m going to go for a walk in the rain.