House of Cards

I had stopped typing for a moment and published the previous blog, because I heard Fife and the boys stirring in the other room. Oh right, I forgot to mention that Fife was watching a DVD with the boys in the other room. I had come home even later than anticipated and found the boys and Fife watching telly. I made my excuses, claiming that I had work to do, and went into the bedroom to blog. When I heard them stirring, I assumed that Fife was tucking them in, but when I checked on them I discovered that they were all asleep. So, I’ve left them were they lay, so I can finish the blog.

Where was I? Right leaving the film location with two free tickets to see Kenny Rogers at a casino.

After ringing the Agency, I rang HP. I figured that if I was already going to get a pretty hefty phone bill this month, what’s a few more minutes. Unfortunately, HP didn’t answer, so I left a message. He texted me the next day with ‘Sorry didn’t answer your call. Was in the pub with Roger. Don’t get down. Sounds like you faced the beast and lived.’ Leave it to HarryPotter to turn my live into a SciFi-Fantasy reference.

It was then that I realised, I had rung Loraine, Paris and Conspiracy at 11pm in the evening. My god those people I work with have the patience of a Saint. Shit, it must have been midnight in Paris. I am such a schmuck.

Anyway, Kenny Rogers at the IP Casino. We decided to go redneck all the way. First we enjoyed an over priced buffet, in which I couldn’t eat more than a plate of half-rate food before getting stuffed. I have no idea how all those people in overalls made like ten trips to the buffet.

RGirl’s quote of the week: (Pointing to the man in dungarees), ‘That’s a man who’s got no time for a belt.’ She had some cracking funnies all weekend, but this one nearly made rootbeer come out my nose.

Then we hit the Blackjack tables, which I’m totally shit at, because I kept ‘hitting’ even on a 17, which is evidently a no no. That’s $40 I’ll never see again.

As for Kenny Rogers, we had a blast. We were the youngest people there by 50 years, and no one was getting up dancing, which seemed to right peeve old Kenny. He sang this song called ‘Stand Up’, and when no one did he chastised the crowd – in a playful way. In fairness to the crowd, I don’t think many of them could get up. But RGirl and I stood up and sang out strong despite the fact I didn’t know any of the songs.

After the concert we headed back the hotel, where I rehashed the meeting until poor RGirl was sick to death of hearing me talk.

I’ve already told you about Gulf Shores, so I’ll skip to today.

There was no reason for PoshMum to contact me today. I’d only given her the book on Friday, and she was in the middle of a shoot. But I had hoped that I’d have an answer upon my return. I was kind of assuming it would be a ‘no’, so more than anything I wanted to get the bad news over with. Then just as I was about the leave the office, I got a call from the RRManager.

PoshMum loves the book/blog, far better than she even liked the first book. RRManager asked who it was published under, so I reminded her that we don’t yet have a publisher, although we do have quite a lot of interest in the book at the moment.

There was a long pause, and I was about to fill the silence with a suggestion that they could buy the idea, just like they would any script idea. Not to worry about it being published. Although, that would possibly mean that we couldn’t put the book out to auction. Not a lot of books come are films first, and those that do are part of a larger package deal. I was turning this idea over in my mind, wondering if I should even mention it, when RRManager finally spoke.

‘Come back to us when you’ve got a publisher.’

She said it with such finality. There seemed to be no arguing, but I tried anyway.

‘The author is interested in working on a package deal…’

I was lying about what the author was interested in, because frankly he wasn’t too keen on any of this, buy it didn’t really matter as RRManager cut me off. ‘[PoshMum Productions] doesn’t do packaging. Just films. If you’re interested in a package deal, I can put you in contact with a company regarding merchandising, but they won’t be interested unless there’s some sort of a deal on the table with us or a publisher.’ I took a breath about to speak, but she cut me off again, ‘Or you could take this to a packager.’

She had a point. London just turned down a job at a packager, perhaps we had an in, and that’s the route to go. But once again, before I could speak, RRManager said, ‘Listen [PoshMum] really loves this book. She has a thing about adapting books. Or sorry, “appropriating narrative”, and she’d rather see it in print first.’

This all made sense. Fans of a book will see a film, and the fans of a film will read the book. The fans of one will see the other as less successful, but it’s good business all the same. And if PoshMum is using phrases like ‘appropriating narrative’ then the apple’s not fallen too far from the tree. Posh would be into the art of reworking a novel, and I possibly this is something she’s inherited from her mother.

RRManager then asked, ‘And [Actor] is definitely on board?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘If we get the greenlight.’

She then said to give her a call when we sign a publishing contract. Then she hung up.

Nice little house of cards I’ve made for myself. I’ve got publishers interested in a book because the previous one was supposed to be part of a film deal, but now I won’t have a film deal unless I sell the book. God this is shit. What have I done?

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