I came home to Fife in the house.
‘Oh thank god, you’re back. We need to talk this through,’ he said.
‘There’s nothing left to say. I want you gone,’ and I walked into the bedroom, threw down my bag, picked-up one of his bags and started putting his clothes in it. ‘Since you won’t get yourself sorted, I will. You can come back and get everything else later.’
He sat on the bed and started talking. He tried to explain. He told me that back when he ‘got the vasectomy’…
‘Pretended,’ I cut him off. ‘Pretended to get a vasectomy.’
‘Yes, back then,’ he said. ‘[Helen] and I were at odds about having another child. I knew she wanted another one, but she didn’t want to get pregnant again out of spite. It was shear spite. So, I told her that I’d had a vasectomy. Fat lot of good it did, because we stopped having sex by then anyway.’
I’d just shoved a wad of his underpants into the bag, ‘And what about me? What does any of that have to do with me? Why lie to me?’ I zipped up the bag.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I don’t like condoms.’
I threw the bag at him and told him to leave. NOW!
‘That’s not what I meant,’ he begged. ‘I meant just that, well, I’d gotten so used to the idea that I couldn’t have anymore children, I kind of forgot it wasn’t true. So, it came out. I said it without thinking. And when you insisted upon the condom, I figured that a little white lie didn’t make a difference.’
‘You call tricking me into getting pregnant a “little white lie”? Get out of the flat. I’ll be gone for the weekend. You can collect the rest of your stuff then. If you aren’t gone when I get back on Sunday, I’m calling the police.’
‘If you’re worried about how this will look, we’ll just get married,’ he said.
I gave him the ‘are you mad’ look.
‘I’m sorry. That totally came out wrong. It’s something I’ve seriously considering anyway. I just thought it would be another year or so before that happened. But there’s no reason we can’t push it forward.’
‘Are you fucking mental?’
I screamed for him to get out.
He took his bag and walked to the door slowly, then turned and said, ‘What about [BigOne] and [LittleOne]?’
How dare he place the welfare of his children at my feet. He lied to me. He brought me into those kids’ lives. It was a shame, but it’s not my problem.
‘If you don’t leave now, I will call the police.’
‘Oh great. First the Rangers and now this. Fuck my life,’ he yelled as he left and slammed the door.
I’ve texted HarryPotter to ask if he’s up for company over the weekend, but I didn’t say why. I don’t know if I will tell him. Hopefully, I’ll have started my period by then and I can put all this behind me.