Guess what? Do not try to swindle an agent into representing you. Don’t falsify your Good Reads numbers and do not exaggerate that writing group at the library into the ‘Your Name Here’ Official Fan Club. It won’t work.
And, here’s a little tip for nothing. Don’t bother telling us about the 1000 ‘likes’ you have on your author Facebook page when you’ve only sold 15 copies of your self-published novel. 980 of those ‘likes’ will be other self-published authors hoping you’ll ‘like’ them in return, and 15 are the friends and family you swindled into buying your book, and the other 5 are the ejits you went to school with who will ‘like’ anything because they have yet to figure out how Facebook works.
No, I’m not having a good day.