I was in the office until quite late last night, but I’ve come up with a plan (I’ve got a flow chart, and org chart, and graphs…the tools needed to wow people who only speak Forbes). What I couldn’t decide was do I reveal all at work, stick to my guns and just force everyone to accept my brilliant plot to take this company out of the shitter. Or, have a chat with Giles and get it approved. Clearly the second option was not going to work.
So, that was me into the office to decide how to entice everyone to listen to me.
I sat at my desk trying to figure out how to do this. If I just broached them with the plan, they would dis-regard me. But, if we keep going down this route the company will start losing clients and no publisher will take us seriously. We look like fools.
Here’s my plan. Patch thinks he’s terribly witting and charming, and for some reason people there are people (BigEyes) who think he is sexy’s answer to sliced bread. So, he should be our ‘face’ for the public, but not for publishers or clients. I’ll continue to manage them. He can, on the other hand, chat with people at festivals, write blog posts, and do online chats (and we are bringing back our social media, I don’t give a shit what he thinks).
BigEyes is an admin person, so let’s put her in charge of all the paperwork bullshit — contacts, royalty management, and the database. Also, she is the master at finding motivational posters and memes. This makes me think that maybe she’d be good at internet research. So, what if we gave her the task of researching new publishers, keeping track of the trades and journals, watching the social media sites for news, and then she can brief us each week on any major publishing news.
As for the Intern, I’ve already given her the database, and I can’t be arsed to do it. So, well, that’s hers. Also, we need to keep our social media presence going, so she can do all that — set up status updates, retweet, keep an eye on our social media for people contacting us. And, I’ll let her keep the slush pile, simply because I can’t be bothered.
Okay, now we have MacDraggyFeet. Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck we should do with her. She’s obsessed with the filing cabinets, the noise in the room, and the light levels. Maybe we can just have her organise the place so that it’s zen, or organomic, or whatever. I don’t care.
And me. Well, I’ll do everything else. Which is a lot. But everyone else can manage their tasks, then it will make my job easier. Also, I think we should recruit a proper agent. But, well, that will be a Giles decision.
So, as I said, I came in this morning wondering if I should just be straight with everyone or if I should run it through Giles. Well, after a day of…
*’Hey, Lit2, you’ll like this…so, my kid, you know (laugh), yeah, like I’m up at 5am, because (laugh)…I’m a dad…’
*The intern scrolling the internet for jobs. (Not that I’d mind losing her, but I’m trying to put a plan together here, I don’t have time to hire someone new.)
*BigEyes mooning over Patch
*MacDraggy feet asking me why she can’t make changes on a PDF…
I’ve decided that I need to be stealthier about this. I need to make them think that this was all their idea. Shit, but not sure how to do that. I’m not really a manipulative person.
However, my sister is. Tonight, I’m off to Edinburgh for dinner to Intern2, Hubby, my sister and her wanky BWB boyfriend. I’m sure they can help me with scheme.