Revelations from a dinner party

Went to a little dinner party at Intern2 and Hubby last night, and it was sooooo informative.

Some topics covered: ISIS, Ebola, street harassment, and American television.

But, more interesting topics: Candy’s ‘pre-being-my-neighbour’ life, what’s up with HP, Katie quitting her internship (so not happy about this), and how to handle my mentalist co-workers. (BTW, Patch has used the word ‘classic’ today to describe the Intern’s blueberry muffin, BigEyes typing, responding to an car insurance email, and a brolly. As in, ‘Wasn’t sure if I should bring an umbrella today. Classic.’ God I hate him.)

So, back to last night’s dinner. Intern2 and his Hubby had myself, Katie, her vile BWB boyfriend, and a lovely couple that Hubby works with around for dinner. (HP couldn’t make it, as usual, and no excuse, as usual.) Katie was already in Edinburgh, and over the lovely moussaka that Hubby prepared, I noted that we shouldn’t drink too much wine as we have to catch the last train back to Dundee. And, that’s when she announced that she’s a fuck up. Or, so is implied by her little bit of news.

She’s been living with BWB fairly full time so she’s quit her internship so she doesn’t have to commute. While I am not happy she was working for free, that was a really competitive internship. She was chosen over nearly 100 applicants. She dropped out of Uni to do it. She was doing so well in the job. They were talking about hiring her on permanently. So, the fact she quit makes me fucking livid. And BWB, he could give a shit and is a massive twat.

When I asked him what he thought, he just shrugged and said ‘at this moment in time, her place was to be my conduit for expression.’ I’m not sure, but I think that may have been a creepy sex thing, and I really didn’t want to talk about my sister having sex, so I let the matter drop…for now. But if she thinks I’m going to let her throw away her future, she’s mistaken.

Oh, and I asked her what Candy thought about this, and if Candy even knew she wasn’t living in the flat in Dundee any longer. Katie said that Candy was fine with it, especially as she now has a new boyfriend.

This is when we realised that Scotland is far too small a place because this guy at the dinner party (the boyfriend of the woman who with Hubby) knows Candy. So, here’s the scoop on her.

Right. So she told us that she and her husband had been together since they were quite young. And that’s true. She also told us that they broke up because he wanted children and she didn’t. Sort of true. Actually, the truth truth is really quite sad.

She and her husband had been trying for a child, but couldn’t seem to have one. They started going through all this infertility treatment stuff, because he didn’t want to adopt. Then after like literally 8 years of this, he up and leaves her for a much younger woman who has just had his baby.

I mean how shit is this?

I’m kind of seeing Candy in a new light. Is that why she tries to dress so young for her age? Because she’s been screwed over for younger women. And, if I were her, I would be a wreck. An absolute wreck. The guy at the dinner party knows her from the gaming industry, and he talks so highly of her.

I was a bit nervous to broach the HP subject, especially if the guy knows Candy, but I wanted to get their take. And, essentially, no one thinks HP and Candy are having an affair. Those that know Candy don’t think she would ever do that, as she’s been cheated on. And those that know HP, don’t think he’s that type of person. But, why are they so touchy feely? What’s with the innuendos? It’s just doing my head in.

BWB who had been silent, and making it obvious that this whole conversation was terribly beneath him, said something that may have relevance. He said, ‘Men need to know they’re desired.’

The table then got into a discussion of gender and by the end, everyone agreed that ‘people need to know they are desired.’ So, HP and Candy are providing that for one another. This all goes back to what Donna and her girlfriend told me ages ago, I’ve stopped making an effort. And, in fairness, HP has as well. So, new goal. Make an effort. A serious effort.

Last bit of discussion for the night. How to manipulate my co-workers into participating in my plan of making the Agency a viable business once again. Or, as my dinner-party cohorts called it, ‘Operation Productive FuckWits’.

If I bring it up, nothing will happen. So, I’m going to start with two classic manipulation techniques. 1) The complement. ‘Oh BigEyes, you’re so clever finding all this stuff on the internet and you’re so clued into magazines. If only there was a way you could use those skills in the office. Patch don’t you think BigEyes is so clever.’ Then a few minutes later, ‘I wish there was a way we could find out who is being published before the books hit the shelves, and what changes are happening in the industry.’

That sort of complement.

Then, phase 2) print out some online mags, lists of links, and that sort of thing, then put them in the filing cabinet. Ask BigEyes to help me find something in the files, something that isn’t there, and wait for her to stumble across the file.

Once all this is in place, I’ll say something like, ‘I wish someone had the knowledge to give us a report once a week on what’s happening in publishing. Kind of a run down of what’s in the press.’

From this point, I’ll go into a Monday meeting, make a comment about all the work BigEyes has been doing, say how great it’s been, and if only she had the time to put together a weekly report on the press stuff she finds.

Then BOOM! BigEyes has a new job. Or well, a new additional job.

And I’ll do this with all the staff, except for the intern because I can just tell her what to do.

I’ve started putting my plan into action today. Not sure if it’s working yet, but there’s been more chat in the office about work and less about kids and bunnies and crisps and whatever the fuck else they talk about.

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