Keeping my mind off work

Came into work and immediately received a phone call. It was RobotPA, she was asking if I could meet her and Dickie at 3pm at an office in the city centre. I’m quite nervous. She didn’t explain who Dickie was, just expected me to know. Did everyone but me know that Giles didn’t own the Agency? Yes, I know, I know. His name wasn’t on the sale. But I wasn’t in on the negotiations, so I wasn’t privy to what everyone else knew.

Anyway, incredibly nervous. I’m assuming I’ll get the sack. No reason to sack me, I guess. Except they’d be stupid to think I don’t talk to London and Paris, and maybe they want to get rid of me before I try to sue them for the rest of the sale money. I know that wouldn’t make any sense, because if they fired me then I’d definitely sue them. Unless, they argue that the original agreement stays the same, and I agreed to work in trade for the extra sale amount. But how could they sack me legally, I’ve done nothing wrong. Although, I guess they could make me redundant, and since I technically haven’t been with the company any time at all they wouldn’t owe me severance.

I don’t know. I guess the reason I’m kind of freaking out is not because I’m about to lose my job. It’s because I’ve decided to stay in Dundee, because HP and are getting on really well. If fact, I think things are getting back to the pre-stress days. So, I finally decide to stay in Dundee and I lose my job. Although, I haven’t told London and Paris ‘no’ yet, so if I am sacked I have employment options. I just don’t know how this will affect HP and I.

Last night was so wonderful. Katie was back in our flat. Candy’s man was over, and Katie doesn’t like hanging about when he’s there, because it makes her feel like a third wheel. (Evidently, feeling like a third wheel in my flat isn’t a problem.)

HP came home at a descent hour last night, and he was in a chipper mood. He whipped Katie and I up a spagbol and we put on a film from Netflix. It sounds like nothing, but the tension that had existed between us was gone. We watched this silly film with Will Farrell and Mark Walberg that makes fun of copy movies (I can’t remember the name), and we laughed and joked and it was a really laid back night.

Katie finally wandered home, and much to my surprise HP didn’t go off to his own bedroom. He popped open a beer and asked if I wanted some wine. We had a drink, and he told me about a project he’s working on at work. He’s doing the design branding for a children’s video game. He said that it’s a challenge because he has to use the artwork and style of the game, but also add original work. He said it’s really hard, but fun, to work in a collaborative environment. He’s always worked in jobs where he was the only person in design, and now the whole company is design. He’s loving it. I’m happy for him.

I told him about London and Paris getting the money from Dickie, and how surprised I was that Giles didn’t own the Agency. HP totally made fun of me for not knowing, and he picked on me for being too trusting in business. ‘You’re an agent. You’re supposed to be ruthless and cut throat in business,’ he said teasingly.

‘I am when I’m fighting for an author I believe in,’ I responded.

‘It’s like you’re a different person for work. You should fight as hard for yourself as you do for your clients,’ he said.

I love that he knows me so well. We talked for most of the night. He told me how Candy had been really worried about Gamergate, but so far she’s seemed to have stayed clear of the trolls and the threats. Then again, she doesn’t personally use a lot of social media, maybe that’s why she hasn’t been affected. I wondered if it’s because she’s a British gamer not American. Online threats are illegal in the UK, and can be investigated by the police. HP said she’s still quite nervous, but also feeling kind of guilty. She’s laying low, but feels like she should speak up and support fellow female gamers, but she’s also afraid of being threatened.

We talked about his respect for her, and I felt really guilty for ever thinking less of her. She is a strong person, who’s done a lot with her life.

But, last night, for once, HP didn’t hold my negativity against me. He talked about her without judgement against me, and that felt good.

It was quite late when we wandered off to our separate beds. I fell asleep smiling. Just being able to talk feels like old times.

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